


Freedom in Movement

by RoslynCarisi (Yoselin)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, LGBTQ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoselin/pseuds/RoslynCarisi
Summary: Premise: (LGBTQ Centered) Amanda remarks on the differences between Georgia and New York and how she can finally be proud of who she is.





	Freedom in Movement

Georgia and New York might as well be in two different worlds. While the people in Atlanta pride themselves in their traditionalist views and stick to their religious beliefs as if their lives depended on it, New York subscribes to a more liberal mindset and puts religion on a back burner in favor of social progress and justice. For Amanda, it is still baffling how two cities could be in the same country yet be worlds apart.   
Some days, she misses the comfort Georgia brought. While she is grateful for the future she has carved for herself in New York, proud of the life she is living now, a part of her still misses the security she had in Atlanta. Atlanta was a safety net for beliefs. She could fit into her home, feel at place in its traditional views and conform to its school of thought, without having to worry about her own passions and emotions. Georgia, while not always positive, brought a sense of security to her that she misses dearly.   
Still, Amanda is grateful for New York and the freedom it brings. In New York, you are free to be who you are. Society moves like a tide and everyone is free to be expressive. Sex becomes widespread, fun becomes second nature, and the previous dark parts of yourself you would like to ignore become lit up by the torch of liberalism that illuminates the city.   
Although not as ‘safe’ as Atlanta, New York lets her be who she is now, and for that she is grateful.  
While once hiding from herself, Amanda now feels a sense of comfort in her own skin. Thoughts and feelings hidden behind guilt and tradition come to light. Years worth of emotional chains locking away her truth are shed and discarded in favor of a freedom she’s never known. For the first time, Amanda feels an inner peace that she has never experienced before. It is a breathtaking sensation that sends pleasant shivers down her spine.   
Amanda Rollins is bisexual.   
And to be able to think that phrase without chasing it away with Bible passages or self-loathing is a breath of fresh air. After decades of hiding behind appearances and lying to her own emotions, Amanda feels she can breathe easier now.   
New York allows her to be herself. In its wide and bustling city, she can walk with her head held high and bask in a sense of confidence she’s never known. The big city allows her to be who she is without the feelings of guilt or fear plaguing her.   
In Atlanta, she was a rarity. There, she felt the need to conform and lie to herself. A part of her could never truly accept her own truth or live in what it meant. Here, however, she can accept herself and grow. New York is a brand new start for her, a life where she can be entirely who she is without having to hide, and that is a thrilling thought.   
Amanda shifts in her seat in the park bench and lifts her coffee cup to her lips. The autumn chill is settling upon the city and the hot beverage brings her comfort. Her eyes take in the park goers, parents with children and pets running free and happy, and a smile rises on her face.   
Her free hand drifts to her partner at her side, a pretty young woman with joy in her eyes and kindness in her smile. She is a beacon of light in her life and a gift to the world around her. With her very existence she reminds Amanda of all that is good in the world even as the monsters of her workplace bear their hideous faces.   
The woman at her side is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise polluted life and Amanda takes her hand in hers. Their fingers intertwine easily, fitting together perfectly, and a part of her wonders if they were made for one another. Perhaps something out there predetermined them to meet and fall for each other.   
The woman next to her shifts and squeezes her hand in turn. She settles more comfortably at Amanda’s side and raises her own coffee to her lips. She leaves a lipstick stain on the paper and Amanda is sure the same color is also smudged around her own lips.   
She licks them almost subconsciously and swears she can still feel the ghost of her touch and affection lingering against her skin. It is a pleasant and lovely feeling that warms her more than anything else.   
“People are staring,” her lover remarks. She says it without a care, no hesitation in her gaze as she smiles brightly at the park goers around them that happen to give them a second glance, and Amanda can’t bring herself to care either.   
Once upon a time, perhaps she would have cowered at that. Some time ago, maybe she would have winced and dropped her lover’s hand. Amanda could easily imagine her old self, still hiding from her emotions and feelings, standing up and moving away as fast as possible to evade the questioning looks and stares-  
But her new self, her true self, merely shrugs. She has grown more confident since her move, accepting yourself and learning to love who you are makes it easier to hold your head up high, so now she merely smiles.   
Aware of the looks she is receiving, she squeezes her lover’s hand and raises her fingers to her lips. Delivering a featherlight kiss to each digit, she smiles.   
“Let them,” Amanda voices, “I don’t mind.”  
And she really does not mind, she realizes. The thought sends a pleasant shiver down her spine.   
Atlanta and New York are as similar as a desert and tundra. Each city exists in its own philosophy and contradicts the other. Georgia with its traditional views raised Amanda, turned her into the person she is and brought her up strong, but New York gave her the right to be who she always was and let her accept her own reflection.  
Now, finally free to exist and to breathe, Amanda can feel comfortable in her own skin. She can love who she loves, spend time at her lover’s side, and hold her head up high.   
While Amanda Rollins is forever grateful for her Georgia, the state that raised her and shaped her, she is more comfortable in New York. This city, her city, has illuminated her path and brought her a sense of peace in herself. Here, in the city that never sleeps, she can accept herself and love her truth-  
And, more importantly, she can love the woman at her side the way it was always intended for her to love.   
Passionately, wholly, and freely.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to be a dig at Georgia in any way.


End file.
